Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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