Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
