Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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