I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
