Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
