just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
