im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Someone shit on the floor
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
