you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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