1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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