Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
