Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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