question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
