she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No subtext here. People are naked.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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