how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize