she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
