idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize