Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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