were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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