well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dicks are not precious.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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