Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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