I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
