Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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