What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
