It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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