I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
