Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He passed out mid-signature
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
