I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
