Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
