i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
