My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
