Non-Jews are for practice
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
People in love make me want to vomit
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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