We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
