walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
