he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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