Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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