my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
