I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
