you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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