Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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