Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
