I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
