So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
