Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
