Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
