who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
