He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
