Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
