Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
