so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
