how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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