so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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