I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
