Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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